Batsanity
by summerrayah
Summary: Batman is overworked and underappreciated. Forced to do menial tasks, while trying to maintain his infamous bat dignity isn't working. After the worst chore to date, and some help from the joker, Batman's sanity is lost.
1. From Bat to Bunny

**I don't own Justice League. Or Batman legally muahahaha...**

**Whenever I say Batman it means that he is wearing his suit, when I say Bruce it means that he is wearing (kinda) normal clothes, when I saw Bunnyman it means he is in his bunny costume.**

**Batsanity Chapter 1**

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One day Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman was just sitting in his manor relaxing when suddenly Superman contacted him and told him he needed to come up to the watchtower immediately, and that it was a matter of life or death. As fast as he could he got into costume and was teleported to the watchtower where Superman was waiting for him.

"What's the emergency," Batman asked

"Oh my god Bruce it is one of the worst crisis's that the Justice League has ever seen, and your the only one qualified to help." Superman replied fearfully.

"What do I need to do?" Batman said in a brave voice.

"You need take this walky talky and go in the men's bathroom and I will walk you through the procedure." Superman said.

"Ok lets do this." *heroic voice* Somewhere else in the world The great Sri Sumbaji sneezed.

As he neared the bathroom, Batman started to smell a repulsive stench, when he entered he asked Superman what to do next.

"Ok, we have to be very careful, so walk slowly to stall 3, then grab the item that is by the toilet, OVER," Superman whispered through the walky talky. Batman walked slowly to stall three wishing that he knew more about the situation. He opened the door and nearly died from gas. Using his amazing willpower he stood up and took shaky steps to the toilet and blindly grabbed the item. He looked at his hand and saw a toilet plunger.

"Clark," he said in a dangerous voice, "there had better be a villain in here or I swear I will shove the biggest piece of kryptonite the world has ever seen up your ass."

"Umm not quite, you see there is most defiantly the biggest turd the world has ever seen, and your the only one who can unclog it." Superman told him. Sighing Batman turned back to the toilet at hand and then 143 plunges, 7 batarangs, and 1 Brittney Spears later, He came out of the bathroom mentally scarred for life...AGAIN.

It seemed that he just wasn't scary anymore. This week alone he had unplugged 7 toilets, made 13 sandwiches for random members, polished 5 helmets, washed 32 different suits then ironed and folder said suits. It was too much for The Dark Knight to handle. When he was teleported home, he took 3 bubble baths then went straight to bed.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The next morning at the watchtower, Superman woke up to the noise of what sounded like a mini train set. He followed the noise to Batman's room where his eyes nearly fell out of his head when he saw a pink shape in the middle of the room playing with a train set. He quickly confronted the figure then fainted when he saw Batman's face, smiling and giggling while wearing a pink bunny suit that slightly resembled his batman suit. His face mask was off, and he looked absorbed in his trains. 'J'onn we have a problem gather the original seven and meet me in Batman's room,' he thought telepathacly to the alien. A swift nod was all he mentally received. Superman walked up to the Bruce look-a-like and asked

"Who are you?"

"I'm Bunnyman silly, I used to be Batman but all the black wasn't fun and bats are scary." The man giggled.

Then J'onn, Wonder woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and Hawkgirl walked in to the room. "What's going on," Wonderwoman asked. And before Superman could tell her, Bunnyman turned and as his face lit up he said

"HI DIANA! Did you know I always really liked you," he giggled "Except the old me would never tell you that but I'm the new me so I wanted you to know cause now we can play my little pony. My favorite one is Twinklestar cause she is so pretty. Do you think I'm that pretty? I want to be pretty. Did you see my new suit? It's a bunny. I like bunnies so now I'm Bunnyman, besides bats were too scary always in the dark, and black is a sad and scary color. I like pink its pretty." Bunnyman said at a speed that made Flash jealous. Flash screamed in fear as everyone else paled and fainted.

When they came to they were on the floor looking up at Bruce dressed up in a nurses outfit. He looked like he was concentrating and then he stuck a Band-Aid on Hawkgirl's nose. Then as she sat up she noticed that all of them were covered in Band-Aids and casts.

"Where did you get materials to make casts," Superman asked as he sat up and looked at Bruce, in his outfit. "Never mind I don't want to know."

"Wow are you guys ok? You just fainted. Hahahaha it made a boom noise hehehe BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM. That was fun cause I got to play dress up, I'm a nurse," Bruce said as he smiled and skipped in a circle.

"J'onn, you have to,"

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"You have to that is the only way we will find out if that is really Batman and if it is what happened."

"Diana, that is my worst fear, to be inside Batman's brain."

"J'onn please," Wonderwoman said.

"Fine, but if I don't come back, I will haunt all of you." Sighing J'onn sat down and levitated in the air, when he opened his eyes, he screamed.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Review plz should I keep going**


	2. Into The Darkness Or Not

**Batsanity Chapter 2**

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

J'onn had his eyes closed. He didn't want to look at the horrors he was almost sure to find. He cracked open an eyelid and looked around to see a butterfly. He screamed in horror, butterflies were his second worst fear. He had never told anyone because they would judge him. They bore an eerie resemblance to the marsh wraiths back on his planet. Marsh wraiths would change in size from small to large. In their small form, they weren't so bad. But when they were large the were hideous and disgusting, and man-eating. J'onn still didn't trust the butterflies on Earth, they could be biding their time to transform and take over the world. He ran as fast as he could to a bright pink spot he saw at the corner of his eye.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"I hope he is ok. Did you hear his scream? He must have seen something terrible and disgusting and fearsome to make him scream like that. Who knows what is in Batman's mind," Superman said. Everyone in the room shuddered at the thought of what was in the Batman's mind. Flash paled at the thought. Bunnyman was passed out in the corner of the room.

"Wait... How did he get the bunnysuit back on?" Wonderwoman said. Everyone turned their attention to the abovementioned Bunnyman who was indeed back in his costume. Everyone slowly took a step back from the unconscious figure.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Aside from the occasional butterfly J'onn was having a great time. Batman's mind wasn't so scary. It was actually kinda fun. But he had a mission to complete. He heard thunder from far off and decided that that was defiantly the best place to start looking for the old Batman. He sighed as he walked to the area where he heard the thunder. After a while of walking and 2 butterflies later, he came to what looked like an abandoned shack. He shuddered as he slowly made his way in. Suddenly he turned to see many of Batman's memories flashing on the wall.

"This is really Batman," J'onn said in a worried tone. "So what happened to him." He looked through his recent memories to see that in the last week he had unplugged 7 toilets, made 13 sandwiches for random members, polished 5 helmets, washed 32 different suits then ironed and folder said suits. And the last toilet he unclogged was a big one, maybe he should lay off the taco bell. Taco Bell doesn't seem to mix with aliens very well. Then he saw the most recent memories of Bunnyman. 'So what happened between Batman and Bunnyman...'


	3. The Chilling Conclusion

**Batman: She doesn't own me, justice league, or Twinklestar.**

**Idk if Twinklestar is real. It sounded like a my little pony so ya aaannnyyywwaaayyy enjoy**

**Batsanity Chapter 3**

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Back at the watchtower the league members were starting to get bored. They were sitting on Batman's bed watching him. Every time Bunnyman moved, Flash would jump, thinking that Batman was back to normal and going to kill him. Hawkgirl sighed and then thought of a great idea.

"Lets do Batman's make-up."

"What are you kidding, he would kill us if he came back to normal and saw himself in makeup," Superman said.

"But how often are we going to see Batman in makeup, and besides he wouldn't be able to see the make-up for a long time, long enough to give us time to escape." Hawkgirl said.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

J'onn was staring heroically at nothing when he saw the Joker running by.

"Stop! What are you doing in Batman's mind?" J'onn shouted.

"Who, me? Seriously this is Batman we are talking about. It would be weird if you didn't see me in his mind." Joker replied.

"Normally, but why would you be in his mind when it's filled with joy?"

"Ok, ok, you got me. I'll confess everything. Just get me outta here. I'm really starting to get disturbed. Me. Disturbed." Joker said while looking around.

"What did you do to Batman?"

"Ok so like the night before last, I had been watching him. I know it was him but I couldn't figure out who he really is. Don't ask why. You don't wanta know... Anyway then before he went to bed I slipped a little something I had been working on into his warm milk. I can't make this stuff up," he said with a shudder, "And then in the morning he was in the watchtower. I didn't do any of this whole happy thing. My vial only brings up the real you on the inside."

"You're lying. I can read minds and you will fix the damage to his brain." J'onn told Joker.

"I didn't do any damage to his brain. I believe it was you and your Taco Bell that did that. I saw the memory and even I'm worse off in the sanity department. What I suggest is blocking that memories of the past week and you should be good. Now GET ME OUTTA HERE, IM BEGGING YOU. I CAN'T HANDLE ANY MORE HAPPY BATMAN." Joker screamed.

"Hold on I have to block the memory first." He said as he found a sheet and pinned it over the memories. "Close enough, lets go. I think I see a butterfly."

"Butterfly?"

"Don't ask" J'onn answered as Joker slowly edged away from the alien.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Back at the watchtower, J'onn appeared with Joker.

"Joker, what are you doing here?" Superman asked.

" FINALLY, IM FREE NO MORE RAINBOWS OR BUTTERFLIES. IT WAS HORRIBLE IN THERE YOU DID'T EVEN SEE THE MY LITTLE PONY FIELD. AT FIRST THEY'RE ALL NICE AND HAPPY AND PRETTY, THEN I ACCIDENTLY STEPPED ON ONE OF THEIR TAILS. THEY TRIED TO KILL ME. THEY'RE EVIL I TELL YOU, EVIL. I AM NOT EVIL, LEX ISN'T EVIL, THAT LITTLE TWINKLESTAR IS EVIL, BUT NOW I'M FREE, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU..." Joker shouted then fell in a sobbing pile of fear and 'thank you' at J'onn's feet.

"Like his therapist didn't have enough to deal with." Batman said in a disgusted voice as he looked at the puddle of 'thank you's' at J'onn's feet. Flash screamed and joined Joker on the ground as they both sobbed in fear of the Batman who was back to normal and in his Batman suit. The rest of the original leaguers had given up on how he changed costumes, but they were still wary all the same.

"NOT YOU, YOU ACT ALL SCARY BUT ON THE INSIDE YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE OUTSIDE. THE VIAL I GAVE HIM MADE HIS INNERMOST PERSONALLITY COME OUT. HELP ME. THE HORRORS." Joker screamed and shook Flash, who looked really afraid.

"Don't be stupid, do you actually think that was the real me? How much stupider of a lie can anyone make up?" Batman said, bored. Flash avoided eye contact as everyone else just nodded. J'onn offered to take him to prison since Batman needed a break. Batman nodded and left the room, followed by everyone except Flash who told J'onn he needed a sec with the Joker. J'onn agreed, as soon as they were alone, Joker said,

"Beware the ponies"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Back in his room, Batman was finally alone. He walked over to his closet and pushed three hangers to the side and opened a secret door.

"Don't worry Twinklestar, they wont find out," he said as he heard the reply and giggled. "We are the bestest of friends. Forever. Don't worry, Eaglefeather is just threatened by your success, you sold over 11 million copies and he only sold 3. He will get over himself, we all know how boys can be." He giggled again as his words slowly became a low mix of mumbling and giggling. No one would ever find out his secrets. Ever. He would make sure of that.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Didja like it? **

**Batman: THAT IS ALL LIES. I AM NOT A CREEPER. OR GAY. OR INTO MY LITTLE PONIES. SOMEONE MUST STOP HER, SHE'S COMING FOR YOU ALL SHES COM-**

***men in white suits and big needles cut him off as Twinklestar watches in the background***

**Sorry just a little ummm technical difficulties hehehehe. **

**Batman: IM SORRY TWINKLESTAR, I FAILE-**

***gets tackled and stabbed with needle as foam disappears from mouth***

**Shame he had so much promise in his younger days. I would blame the government but I can't bring myself to do it. **

**Plz review**


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